I dunno anymore...

Everyday I wake up and look out my window and I wonder if today will be the same as yesterday or will it be different. I ran across a person the other day and we got to talking and during our long conversation they said to me, "Wow, you know exactly what you wanna do with your life!" and I thought to myself I know what I want to do, but I don't know what I want from life.

Wait! Is there a difference?? I mean yea, I want to go in medicine, and I want to have my own practice and all that other stuff, but is that what I want from life? Maybe the problem is I don't know what I want from life as in I'm still looking for my purpose -

Everyone has a purpose! I think if I wait for a sign then I'll know exactly what I was meant to do. I wanna make a difference in the world and not just go into medicine so I can make lots of money, cuz to be honest its not about the money.

And why do people get sooooo annoyed with oters if they don't know what they want in life? Like honestly its not affecting you in any way so just shut up! And if I've changed the kind of person I am, it was for my better interest - If I'm affecting you by not laughing, I'm Sorry! But maybe I just don't find the same things funny anymore - or maybe I'm just not in the mood to laugh!

Yea, sure I'll agree with you when you say there was a time when I couldn't stop laughing and smiling but shit happens - life isn't always pretty it can be dark sometimes, so PLEASE stop expecting me to be the happy and jolly Ms. T I always used to be, I still am that same person, the same personality, just sometimes I don't find the need to be funny all the time. And its not cuz I think I'm superior to you by being older and thinking I'm mature. Everyone starts changing - this is the new me!

***Sorry for the rant, I just had to get it out of my system!***